Episode 16: Tough Times

February 9, 2023

Narration

Irene and Torfinn went through some difficulties in their marriage. There were various issues, but we won’t get into them.

We start this episode during a rough period in their marriage. Their children were young, around 4 and 5 years old.

Bessa: Times got tough again. 

I said to him, We, we gotta split. We gotta get away from each other.

I said, I wanna go to Norway for a while. He said, Okay. You go home to my parents. So I booked a ticket on the ship and off I went.

Kristen: With your kids?

Bessa: Yeah. His parents came and picked us up on the ship and took us to their home. That’s where we stayed for six months.

Kristen: While you were split up from him?

Bessa: We didn’t split. We just needed to get away from each other. 

After a few months in Norway, Torfinn wrote and said, Come back. I got a new apartment for us. We were going to try again.

Kristen: Were you thinking it would work?

Bessa: Well, I decided we were going to try.

Narration

Irene and her kids came back to New York. Her Mama and sister Reidun came over with them, for a visit. 

Not long after they returned, Irene became pregnant with their third child, Inger. 

Bessa: It didn’t last long. We stayed together until after Inger was born. But it was not a good marriage.

Kristen: So were you working when you were pregnant with Inger?

Bessa: Yes. I worked as a car hop. I called Borgny when I came back and I got pregnant with Inger and we started fighting again.

So I called Borgny. I said, Borgny, is there an opening at the drive-in? There was a drive in where you go in your car and eat. You pull up and you order and you serve in the car. So she said, Yes. I’ll talk to Duck. That was the manager. 

And I got the job there and we started four in the afternoon and worked all night. Saturdays, we were there until five, 5:30 in the morning. Made pretty good money. Inger was born in July and I quit towards the end of May, but we had loose clothes on and I didn’t carry big. So they didn’t know I was pregnant.

It was tough. That was a tough job. Very tough. So when Inger was born, he did come to the hospital and he was there when I came home. And Inger wasn’t six weeks when he moved out. 

He was not a bad man. He really was a good man. It was just the two of us did not click.

Kristen: After he left – how did you feel? 

Bessa: Relief. And your mama said to me, I’m glad Daddy’s moved out, because now you don’t have to cry anymore, Mommy. Yeah, that’s what she said to me. 

So it worked out fine. I stayed there with the kids. Got the lady next door to take care of them when I went to work. Got up in the morning, gave them breakfast, got them to school, was there when they come home from school.

Bessa: I think my mama saw just what was going on with me and Torfinn. She was smart but she never said anything when she was there with us. And she went back to Norway two weeks before Inger was born.

Now we decided to split, and I had to write to Mama to tell her, and I was scared. I felt so bad. 

So I wrote and told her that I’m splitting with Torfinn.

And I got a letter back from her – Dear Bjorg, that’s the best news I have had in a long time. I still have that letter.

Kristen: Wow.

Bessa: Yep.

Narration

Things will start to look up for Irene soon. Next time, Irene meets Joe. 

You’ll get to hear about her new relationship, and new work experiences.